Cow-Print Slippers and Black Underwear

It means your own bed, familiar faces, no professors, and good food. It's a magical word that seems to impart all things good to a tired, lonely, hungry college student. During finals week, everything seems to remind you of it, and there's no place you'd rather be. Someone at lunch can casually let the four-letter word slip, and a reverent hush will immediately follow, turning to a very nostalgic conversation filled with memories and stories and an obvious longing for a home-cooked meal. For the first time in my life I feel a real, personal connection to the characters in M*A*S*H - on an obviously smaller scale - and I can now appreciate their longing to be out of the exhausting, nasty-tasting, daily grind of the army. And it's not even that school is all that bad, but it's just bad enough to make me appreciate what I left at home on a whole new level. Thanks Mom.

Family, personal space, and potato salad, here I come - if I can just survive the next 9 days...

So I didn't write this, but you can still read it and pretend that I did, because it's just that good.

I believe-that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I believe-that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I believe that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I believe that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I believe that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I believe that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I believe that you can keep going long after you can't.
I believethat we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I believe that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I believe that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I believe that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I believe that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe-that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I believe that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I believe that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I believe that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I believe that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I believe that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I believe-that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I believe that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I believe that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I believe that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I believe that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.
I believe that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I believe that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

See? Wasn't that so worth reading?

Behind These Hazel Eyes

Seems like just yeterday
You were a part of me.
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong.
Your arms around me tight
Everything it felt so right
Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong

Now I can't breathe
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am once again
I'm torn into peices
Can't deny it can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see these tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes...

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright for once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together but so broken up inside

'Cause I can't breathe
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on...

Swallow me and spit me out
For hating you I blame myself
Just seeing you it kills me now
No I don't cry
On the outside anymore

Kelly Clarkson is truly my American Idol

So I just got a new CD. It's great: the beats are good, the vocals are right on, and the lyrics speak my language. I've been listening to it every chance I get, and it's been awesome. I enjoy my time with it, I feel good about it, and the songs are in my head even when my head phones aren't. I like my new CD so much, in fact, that I barely listen to any of my others. They have been replaced by a new favorite that I am getting to know better and better every day...

Ok, so that's a little exagerated, but I say that all to make a point: being an old CD is no fun at all. Let me expound a bit on that statement.

I've recently decided that the pain of replacment is about 10 times worse than the pain of rejection. When you're rejected, it simply means that someone gave you a small chance; they sampled you a little, listened to your intros (continuing with the CD analogy), and decided that you're just not their genre. They got to know your tune just enough to decide if they wanted to keep listening, and if not, they skipped on to the next one. And that's ok. People have their preferences, their favorite types, and there's nothing wrong with that.

But on the other hand, when you're replaced, it's a whole different song and dance. With replacement, there's a lot more time involved. Someone has actually taken the time to get to know your story, to understand your deeper meaning, to find out what makes you tick. They've spent hours listening to you, and learning to love what they hear. They can predict what you'll do next, and sing along with you, because they have spent time with you every chance they've gotten. They enjoyed you, they felt good about you, and you spoke their language -which is why it hurts so much when a new release catches their eye. When they decide to put you away, and play the new hit in your spot in the CD player. After all the memories you had made together, after all the time and energy and emotion, and after you had known each other so well, they up and get tired of you and are ready for a new tune. Just when the heart strings were tuned into one another, they decided to change them, and you're left in the past with the rest of the old favorites to keep you company, but feeling so alone.

Bottom line: rejections hurts - but replacement burns....