Cow-Print Slippers and Black Underwear

Disapoint

2006-09-18T11:55:00.000-05:00

People need me and I'm angry that I'm not strong enough to be needed yet.

I want to be strong for them. I want to be there. I don't want to disapoint them.

...I don't want to disapoint myself...

Too late...

Group Discussion

2006-09-13T22:08:00.000-05:00

Apparently, personalized mint tins are an approptiate party favor for a bar or bat mitzvah.

Who knew?

Therapy

2006-09-11T20:34:00.000-05:00

I have taken up painting. It is beautiful.

Anyone who has a great need to express themselves but has no words to do it with, should do the same.

2006-09-06T14:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I told my friend, Emily, that I am constantly teetering on a terrible emotional edge, just waiting, hoping I don't fall off the deep end. And she, my dear, dear friend, replied with,

"And that's why all of us are here, pulling you back."

I would surely be nothing without those that rescue me with their love, prayers, and support.

Earlier today my friend, Robb came up with this great quote:

"Let's do life today."

I can't think of a better challenge. Fortunately, he, Emily, and others are there to make sure I do .

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2005-06-05T17:15:00.000-05:00

Here's a little randomness:

So, girls playfully hit guys all the time, right? Usually accompanied with a smile, wink, and something like: "oh, you're such a jerk," or, "shame on you! I can't believe you said that!" or, "oh stop it, really now, don't be such a tease."

And guys hit other guys all the time too. You know, the slap on the butt at sporting events, the side punch to the bicep after a joke or congratulations, and the occasional wrestling match or straight up fist fight.

However, I also think that guys hit girls on a far too regular basis.

And unfortunately, as soon it happens, my respect for that guys drops a few notches, simply because it shows the lack of respect he has for the girl he's hitting. Even in jest, I just don't think it's appropriate and I don't think it's right. Not only is it morally and socially unacceptable, it's also just not smart! Guys often don't realize their own strength, and when the playfully hit a girl the same they would another guy, that girl could end up knocked over, or even with a bruise. It's true what they say: we're fragile! So seriously, if you're a guy and you're reading this, play nice, don't hit girls.

Pie

2005-06-02T22:29:00.000-05:00

So maybe it's just me, but I so often find that it's at the times in my life when I feel most together, most attractive, and most confident, that I'm removed from the top of my game and tossed on the bottom of the list.

It never seems to take much time to go from enjoying the taste of compliments, to having to swallow a big chunk of humble pie - and it's never fun. Fortunately, the pie is much more filling, and seems to stick with you much better than the compliments, which never seem to satisfy for very long, and always leave you craving more. Besides, too many sweets are bad for you, and are a really good way to get emotionally out of shape, while having that good healthy dose of reality always does a body good. It's just too bad that sugar tastes better than honesty, and eating your words often leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Oh well, I suppose it's all a part of growing up and learning to take the good with the bad - but if you feel the need to cut me a slice, please remember: a spoonful or sugar always helps the medicine (or humble pie) go down.

Top Three Things That Annoy Me Most

2005-05-16T01:08:00.000-05:00

1. When people interrupt me for stupid reasons while I'm practicing/playing the piano

2. When people step on the backs of my flip flops while walking behind me

3. When single guys talk incessently about their crush.

I love it when guys that have girlfriends talk about them, and how amazing they are, and how much they care for them - I just HATE it when a single guy is obsessed with a girl that he's not dating. In my mind, if she's so great, why don't you ask her out, and THEN tell me about it. And if she's not good enough to date, then I don't want to hear about her. And if you DID ask her out and she said no, then she probably wasn't that great, and I don't want to hear about your pity party. It's a lose/lose situation.

But ya know, it would be one thing if this poor devoted guy wouldn't shut up to his buddies about his devotee, but when he talks about her to his girls, that's just too much. I'm sorry, I just don't want to hear about how in love you are with a girl, even if I don't like you in that way at all. I don't want to hear about all the reasons she is so much better than me, even if I would never date you. (Although, the closer the friend is, and the higher I think of him, the more I don't want to hear about his crushes.) It's just annoying. Please be considerate to girls with poor self-esteem and keep your girl talk for your guy talks.

Silly Things I Love

2005-05-14T14:43:00.000-05:00

So maybe it's girly, but I love doing laundry. Now before you fall on the ground in a dead faint, let me explain...

I love that it's a chore, yet so relaxing. Think about it: you dump your clothes in the machine, add the soap, insert your quarters, and walk away! No more work required for at least 45 minutes, which means you can go get something else done (like take a nap, a shower, or if you're really ambitious, some other form of work) yet you're still getting your clothes clean. I tell you, it is truly multi-tasking at it's finest. But it doesn't stop there - oh no - it gets better! When the timer goes of, you simply transfer your wet (but squeaky clean) clothes to the drier and go back to your previous distraction (nap, shower, etc.) But THEN (get this) when the drier timer goes off, that resounding, beautiful "beep beep beep," you get to skip down the hall to collect your prize for all your "hard work:" your clean, dry, and very warm clothes. Now here's the best part. When you get back to your room you have one of two choices: option number one is to dump them in a pile on the floor, pop in a favorite movie or cd, sit on your couch/futon and fold. (That's a chore?!) Option number two is my personal favorite though: dump your fuzzy, soft, clean, warm clothes on your bed and burry yourself in them as you go back to your nap. See? Isn't it amazing? I can't believe I complained about it as a kid. Just goes to show that I now appreciate the finer things in life.

Home:

2005-04-22T00:12:00.000-05:00

It means your own bed, familiar faces, no professors, and good food. It's a magical word that seems to impart all things good to a tired, lonely, hungry college student. During finals week, everything seems to remind you of it, and there's no place you'd rather be. Someone at lunch can casually let the four-letter word slip, and a reverent hush will immediately follow, turning to a very nostalgic conversation filled with memories and stories and an obvious longing for a home-cooked meal. For the first time in my life I feel a real, personal connection to the characters in M*A*S*H - on an obviously smaller scale - and I can now appreciate their longing to be out of the exhausting, nasty-tasting, daily grind of the army. And it's not even that school is all that bad, but it's just bad enough to make me appreciate what I left at home on a whole new level. Thanks Mom.

Family, personal space, and potato salad, here I come - if I can just survive the next 9 days...

I Believe

2005-04-20T01:27:00.000-05:00

So I didn't write this, but you can still read it and pretend that I did, because it's just that good.

I believe-that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I believe-that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I believe that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I believe that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I believe that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I believe that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I believe that you can keep going long after you can't.
I believethat we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I believe that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I believe that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I believe that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I believe that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe-that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I believe that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I believe that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I believe that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I believe that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I believe that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I believe-that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I believe that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I believe that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I believe that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I believe that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.
I believe that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I believe that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

See? Wasn't that so worth reading?

The song that puts words to my feelings...

2005-04-12T11:10:00.000-05:00

Behind These Hazel Eyes

Seems like just yeterday
You were a part of me.
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong.
Your arms around me tight
Everything it felt so right
Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong

Now I can't breathe
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am once again
I'm torn into peices
Can't deny it can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see these tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes...

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright for once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together but so broken up inside

'Cause I can't breathe
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on...

Swallow me and spit me out
For hating you I blame myself
Just seeing you it kills me now
No I don't cry
On the outside anymore

Kelly Clarkson is truly my American Idol

Replacement Burns...

2005-04-04T01:07:00.000-05:00

So I just got a new CD. It's great: the beats are good, the vocals are right on, and the lyrics speak my language. I've been listening to it every chance I get, and it's been awesome. I enjoy my time with it, I feel good about it, and the songs are in my head even when my head phones aren't. I like my new CD so much, in fact, that I barely listen to any of my others. They have been replaced by a new favorite that I am getting to know better and better every day...

Ok, so that's a little exagerated, but I say that all to make a point: being an old CD is no fun at all. Let me expound a bit on that statement.

I've recently decided that the pain of replacment is about 10 times worse than the pain of rejection. When you're rejected, it simply means that someone gave you a small chance; they sampled you a little, listened to your intros (continuing with the CD analogy), and decided that you're just not their genre. They got to know your tune just enough to decide if they wanted to keep listening, and if not, they skipped on to the next one. And that's ok. People have their preferences, their favorite types, and there's nothing wrong with that.

But on the other hand, when you're replaced, it's a whole different song and dance. With replacement, there's a lot more time involved. Someone has actually taken the time to get to know your story, to understand your deeper meaning, to find out what makes you tick. They've spent hours listening to you, and learning to love what they hear. They can predict what you'll do next, and sing along with you, because they have spent time with you every chance they've gotten. They enjoyed you, they felt good about you, and you spoke their language -which is why it hurts so much when a new release catches their eye. When they decide to put you away, and play the new hit in your spot in the CD player. After all the memories you had made together, after all the time and energy and emotion, and after you had known each other so well, they up and get tired of you and are ready for a new tune. Just when the heart strings were tuned into one another, they decided to change them, and you're left in the past with the rest of the old favorites to keep you company, but feeling so alone.

Bottom line: rejections hurts - but replacement burns....

MoNeT

2004-05-01T14:40:00.000-05:00

Life is interesting, i must say. There are many things in like that are quite ironical. One example would be: you like this guy, right..he is cute, insightful and generally nice;o) Well you talk and become friends...then, wham, he askes one of your friends out. How does that work? Sometimes i wonder if its the curse of liking a guy. So in turn i have decided all girls should seriously consider looking at all guys like they are taken. This helps to not only prevent the feelings of dumbness when he ends up liking someone else, it also helps you look at the guy as a friend rather than jumping right to the drooling stage. See, it is much easier on the girl, she can make a good friend, which may lead to something deeper AND leave the feeling stupid at the door. Perhaps i am the only one to have thought of this seemingly brilliant idea. Yet in the back of my mind i have a hunch...i am not the only one. We as girls should be independant and look at life thru a much simpliar set of eyes. Let me know how my plan looks to you, because it may not be intirely fool-proof.

Of Knights and Damsels in Distress...

2004-04-11T19:12:00.000-05:00

(Preface: On first reading George's previous blog and all the comments resulting I was first mildly interested, then angry, then mostly accepting. I, Nancy, am anti-walls. I agree that lots of girls feel insecure, but I also think that that is partially something that's been as society-driven as the idea that women are always crying and men should never show emotion. I do understand where George is coming from though.)

Here goes:

The Rescue-Me-syndrome. Don't we ALL have it? Doesn't every girl grow up imagining the dashing prince, understanding the rhythms of her heart, carrying her away from the pains of being misunderstood and unappreciated? Furthermore, don't guys look to the day when an amazing princess looks their way and every misconception is left behind in a perfect match of forever love?

Ok, there are true-love, crazy-daisy, twitterpated, best-thing-to-ever-happen-to-me parts to romance. One day when we have met our match and are in the throws of a meant-to-be romance, then it's fine to go all out with these feelings. It's okay to be the heroic knight and beautiful damsel.

But don't you wonder why in all the fairy tales they only tell us the part of the knight rescuing the princess? Wanna know why? Think about it. The rest of the story is probably blah. She sits there in her castle and pines away, lamenting every failed attempt at freedom. He roams around trying to find a princess who will help him fight the dragon instead of just WAITING. If there were anything exciting that they really accomplished then believe me, they would have included it in the story.

Daughters (and Sons for that matter) of Jerusalem, I charge you - Do not awaken love until it so desires. (Read Song of Solomon if you're blatantly confused). This doesn't mean "Oh it's desiring! He's so wonderful! Okay, I'm awake!!!"

If you're young, heartbroken over your own constructions of romance, and dreaming of your-someday-sweetie, then there's your sign that God is trying to teach you something. You know how it is when He's teaching you patience. It's because you're feeling impatient and you just know He's gonna make you wait a long time. It's the same for romance. If it's not there, don't force it. Peel back the sludge on your eyes and discover the adventures He has for you NOW and the reasons why you are still single.

The Rescue-Me-Syndrome is part of our human psyche. But we have the power to make it a final, desperate attempt at finding acceptance, or a marvelous story of something worth saving.

Girls - We are strong. We can do this. We can be more then Rapunzel.

Guys - Hang in there. Bear with us. We're rooting for your success as both prince charming and a knight with a comissionary-mission.

In response to Ethel's last comment under "Love Struck"

2004-04-08T10:45:00.000-05:00

Every time you fall 'in love' (and man is it some fall) don't you think - or at least hope - that they're the real deal? It takes a lot of self discipline to control your emotions/hopes, to keep your feet on the ground and your head out of the clouds. It's super hard, I know, but the safest way to deal with "love" is to keep those rose-colored glasses off. Which, of course, is much easier said then done. You have to stop expecting the person you're with to be 'the one' and to never treat them that way. But I think that after you've had your heart broken once (and all it takes is once) you build this little protective wall around your heart that gets taller and thicker every time somebody gets through it to hurt you again. Eventually, you're tired of trying, tired of setting your self up for pain, and tired of being let down, so that wall gets so hard to get through that the only person who will, will have to really, truly, with all his heart want to get in. And when he does, it will have been so hard, and so much work, that he won't ever want to add to that wall by breaking your heart again. Instead, he'll want to take care of you, and remove the wall so that you won't be hurting anymore. That someone will be the real deal, the love or your life, and the one that was worth waiting for because that someone will want you enough to give all of him for you. That's love in its purest and simplest definition: giving up your self for the person you love. I think that's what I'll hold out for.

Ac-cen-tuating Drool

2004-04-08T09:18:00.000-05:00

"You've got to ac-cen-tuate the positive,
E-lim-inate the negative,
Latch on to the affirmative -
Don't mess with Mr.-inbetween!

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum,
Bring gloom down to the minimum,
Have faith, or pandemonium's
libel to walk upon the scene!"

Just like this old Johnny Mercer/Harold Arlen song suggests, a positive outlook and knowing what's best makes all the difference.

Take girls for instance *cheesy grin* Guys, you'd be amazed how many articles there are on "Finding your best feature", and "Accentuating what you've got". Seriously. Did you know most females have either lips, eyes, or hair as an almighty accentuatable feature? We girls study this to figure out what our special secret power-feature is and then we act on it.

We buy the pouty drool-lipped gloss... (I had a friend's brother comment on lip-gloss once - "Why do you do that? It looks like you've drooled all over your lips..." - No, we're just accentuating.)

We buy the curling irons and deep conditioning oils and brush our heads two or (my goodness) even three times a day.

We figure out which color eye shadow looks best with our color eyes (Baby Blues - taupes and greys, Big Browns - purples and greens, etc) And figure out all sorts of amazing ways to 'open' our eyes more, curl our lashes, and pluck our brows.

All for the sake of accentuation. Because we know that we've got positives. We choose to focus a little time on those instead of constantly trying to loose that extra 5 lbs or bemoan the mere $5 bucks left in our purse. (And we do those things too, but at least there's something else we sometimes remember to focus on)

Guys and gals, this stuff is true of any area of life. Especially relationships. There are going to be bad hair days and under-eye circles. But if there are, then somewhere there's got to be a lovely pink smile glistening with pseudo-drool... (Wow, that sounds enticing, yes?)

Chin up folks. Focus on what's great about your situation. Don't ignore the problems or you may be asking for trouble. But always, always, always remember to appreciate the positives :)

"To illustrate
my last remark
Jonah in the whale -
Noah in the ark!
What did they do
Just when everything looked so dark?

Man, they said 'We better ac-cen-tuate the positive!
E-lim-inate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative -
Don't mess with Mr.-inbetween!'"

Love Stuck

2004-04-05T17:51:00.000-05:00

Since Nancy did the 'top 10' thing I thought I'd try and be cool and do the same thing.

Top 10 Ways That You'll Know if You're In Love (Or at least majorly crushing):

10. When you catch yourself doodling in class and all of the sudden - BOOM - their name magically appears on your note book paper... woah.

9. When you start seeing your special someone's name EVERYWHERE and in the most random of places.

8. When you start acting all goofy, you know, sighing all the time, getting that day dreamy look on your face, smiling constantly, singing love songs, and completely unaware of everything that's going on around you. (This one happens at the beginning, or right before a relationship starts, and it's largely associated with crushes, which are really infatuations in disguise.)

7. When you catch yourself talking about him/her ALL the time because everything reminds you of them. You'll repeat something they said, or tell someone what they did, or base your opinions of things on theirs, to the point where you'll try really hard to stop so that people won't think you're obsessed - but they already know that you are.

6. When everything becomes 'a sign.' Usually you'll only notice the good 'signs,' like seeing their name everywhere, and discard the bad ones, like finding out that their moving to another country.

5. When you start revolving your day around their phone call, or email, or page (do people still use pagers?), or letter or whatever mode of communication they use, and you can't help but think it is THE (pronounced 'thee') most sweet and romantic way to communicate of all time. (Aren't 10-letter text message SO dreamy?!) Whether you hear from them or not determines your mood.

4. When you start doing things that are completely weird/pathetic. (Like coordinating your outfits so you match, calling 5 minutes after you hung up 'just to say I love you one more time,' writing ballads for your lover when you've never scribbled a poem in your life, or getting their name tattooed on you some where - or better yet, getting matching tattoos!

3. When you believe that he/she can do NO wrong. When you don't believe your parents, grandparents, distant uncles, 3rd cousins, best friends, and every other person that's ALWAYS been right in you WHOLE life when they tell you your boyfriend is a stupid jerk that takes advantage of you, or your girl friend is a trashy control freak that has you totally whipped.

2. When the two of you talk about which kind of mini van you want to buy when you get married and how many kids you want to have, all the while making it clear that you don't mean the two of YOU are getting married, but 'someday,' 'eventually,' when you find 'the one,' when you're really saying 'please just get down on one knee right now!'

1. When he gets down on one knee, and you say yes before he even pops the question, and you think the ring is GORgeous, and he's WONderful, and you'll be SO HAppy and you can't WAIT to call the 'rents and give 'em the news! Won't they be SO exCITed! Oh--my-- goodness. Incredible. Ding, ding, ding! Somebody's in love - fo' sho'.

BODY LANGUAGE!!! ;-*

2004-04-04T13:48:00.000-05:00

Aight. So if this is not THE most confusing aspect of guy-girl relationships, then I don't know what is. I keep remembering the scene in "The Little Mermaid" where the sea witch tells Ariel that she can communicate without her voice - "There's always the power of.... BODY LANGUAGE!!! Muahahhahaha!"

There are so many subtle ways in which we can read into, misinterpret, OR more clearly understand intentions by the way in which someone moves, talks, or touches. There is a fine line between gestures of flirtatiousness and genuine caring. Girls employ every trick under the sun, and in return think very highly (or lowly) of the way a guy movements convey about his meaning.

For instance, I once had a guy crushing on me who put his hands on my waist before he cared about what flavor ice-cream I liked. Hello!!! This says nothing but "I'm attracted, but I really don't give a darn". Here are some basic rules of thumb for giving and taking when moving with the opposite sex.

1. Eye contact. This says "I care about what I'm saying to you - I'm focused on what we are talking about and your attention.

2. The hand on the arm for 2-3 seconds. *cheesy grin* (Yes, timing is important). If you care about someone - as a friend or otherwise. Then a quick touch conveys your appreciation for that person.

3. Standing so close to someone that your hips and sides are touching. Okay, this is getting personal here. If someone does this then it means you are definitely not repulsive, your deodorant is working, and they want to be as close to you as can... Uhmm... crush anyone? Length of time is important here too... This does not relate to hugs and does not count if you are on the floor at a Switchfoot concert.

4. The head tilt. C'mon we know what this is. That playful moment when the girl tilts her head to the side and does some sort of pouty-lip, puppy-dog-eyed, svelte expression... Yeah, your gut knows the answer. She's flirting. OR possibly just drunk on life and feeling really goofy and thinks you'll appreciate her sense of humor.

5. Looking into someone's eyes with nothing to say. The jury is out on this one! Hah! This is either incredibly sweet or incredibly "I'm-such-a-dork-I-don't-know-what-to-say". If it ends in a grin, then it's an 'awwwww' moment for sure.

6. The walk. Yes, girls can either walk normally or they can swing those hips. Stay clear of these girls! They are not walking this way because of how they are built, they are doing this subconsciously or not, in a way that is not entirely human-female-of-the-earth natural. If you notice a girls hip-walk, then she has it. Don't go looking for it. If you don't notice it, then she's fine, she is a normal human who is not out to stalk you with her laser-hips.

7. Getting up to throw away the empty pop can and suddenly deciding to sit behind you when returning to their seat. If you're worth the whole 5 minutes she planned on how to move her seat closer to you without looking like she got up for that sole reason... Yeah... Not only does this crack me up, but it means your side of the room smells better then where she was... Or something... ;)

8. Hands on (her own) hips. This is playful... Jesting... If combined with the head tilt then it possibly means it's either the girl you're crushing on flirting back with you or your mother telling you to clean your room.

9. Hugs. If the girls arms are under, then it's a nice sweet natural awwww-you're-my-buddy!-moment. If the girls are over (this is especially true if she is much shorter then the guy) then it means she wants to be a little closer to you... (or she's your 5 year old cousin)... If you have a good friend... Then by all means hug them. Be careful not to hug too soon with someone though. Some people just are not touchy-feely like that. Side-ways hugs are a good place to go if you're not sure.

10. Back massage. Okay, I'm going to be entirely the frank-big-sister-person here. Do you give your brother/sister back massages? (I know some people that do) Is it entirely necessary to sit so close to them and have your hands all over their back? No. If it's the shoulders and the right situation, then this is maybe ok. If it's the whole back down to the waist and that little inside Jimminy cricket is bleeping a warning... Then motives need to be reevaluated. Back massages mean you are either good buddies, or someone has a crush.

The end. Sorry this was long. :D This is my biased-opinion, but I can back it all up with real-life experiences and observations ;)

Hidalgo 2... The Story Continues

2004-03-28T23:11:00.000-05:00

So I watched a potentially great movie in which the guy does not get the girl, the coolest character dies halfway into the movie, and the tamed horse is set free...

HELLO!!!!!!! SEQUEL TIME PALEASE!!! And lets get the babes to write this one...

Frank stares out the window of the stuffy chatter-filled parlor. Bored. B-O-R-D, bored, is he. He can't stand Priscilla anymore. Her talk of teacups and honey-do-lists has him gasping for air... Suddenly he sees it... A flash of white and brown... A familiar whinny... Hidalgo racing past the window!!!

Frank jumps up and knocks over Priscilla's great-great-great-grandmother's tea-kettle and breaks it. He leaves the tea-parlor and runs into the open yard, shedding his constricting tie, ruffle, and waist-coat. It is time. The adventure continues. Frank leaps on Hidalgo's back and races away.

Soon he decides to go back to India with his horsey because there is unrest and a mystery to be solved in the kingdom of his friend the sheik. While he is there he learns that the princess is betrothed to a stuffy prince, but alas, she is changed from the daring damsal that she once was. She is sickly and dull.

Aha however! Hidalgo uncovers the drug that the evil prince is using on her that is keeping the princess at bay. Frank and Hidalgo save the day and the princess. The princess and Frank fall madly in love. They solve whatever the mystery was, kill the evil prince, save the sheik, and ride off into the sunset on Hidalgo with the princess's mare Sweetie trotting along beside.

Oh yeah, and p.s. The really super cool character - the princess's black fighting-dude servant man... He wasn't killed. He was imprisoned by the evil prince. He helps them save the kingdom and becomes the new prince in place of the old evil one.

And that's how it should be folks. :)

Behold, the Power of...

2004-03-27T22:55:00.000-05:00

Not cheese.

Just Cheesiness.

Today I got pulled over by a policeman for the first time. It was terrible. I can now relate to anyone who has ever felt that sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and thought "why me? Why today?" I seriously didn't do anything. I just didn't wait for the barricades to go ALL the way up and the dingers to stop dinging and the lights to stop flashing. This is apparently a pretty big offense, judging by the brochure on railroad safty the officer gave me. It can get you a $250 fine your first time, and a $500 fine your second. (Although if you paid a stink'n $250 dollars for doing it once and you still didn't learn your lesson, you either have too much money to care, or you're an air-head and deserve to pay up.) But anyway, it was very traumatic and emotionally stressing, but at least now I understand why girls cry. See, I hate it when people are all "oh yeah I cried and he let me off." That makes me mad because it's like their manipulating the system and if they seriously did something wrong, they should be ticketed no matter how many boxes of tissues they have to go through. Because of that reasoning I was trying really hard to NOT cry, but it wasn't working very well. (I actually would have been fine if I had been able to find my proof of insurance or if my mom had picked up her phone before the 5th time I tried, but hey, you can't have everything right?) I didn't realize how embarrassing it was to sit on the side of the road with a carnival of lights sitting behind you and about a billion people driving by thinking 'oh that poor person... I'm glad it's them and not me!' Yuck. I hated it and as much as I wanted to keep Niagara Falls from actually falling, it was pretty much useless. But here's the thing I didn't realize when people told me that they cried and got let off: they didn't necessarily cry to test that soft spot in the officer's heart for young (and very poor) girls, and they weren't necessarily trying to use their womanly influence on a male cop, crying is just how they dealt with the mixture of fear, guilt, lost trust/innocence, and hopelessness. That's a tough blend there, and while it may be easy to talk about after the fact, it's hard to live the moment. A guy once told me that he didn't know what he would, or should do if a girl started crying. He didn't know if he should leave her alone or go try and comfort her or go beat somebody up for her, and I would bet that he wasn't the only guy that's ever wondered that. To those of you who may be curious, simply understand that tears are just one of the many things that make us girls so incredibly different from guys. They come easily and often times at the worst possible moment. (Do you think we like to have our voices sound funny and our faces get blotchy and our eyes get red? No. Ew.) Sometimes, it's the only way to release the emotion. (As we've already established, we're VERY emotional.) But it may surprise you that we cry a lot more than when we're sad. We cry when our feelings are hurt, when we're lonely, when we're tired, when we're happy, when we're overwhelmed, when we're angry, when we're confused, when we're frustrated, and when we're feeling for someone else (that's why romantic flicks make us cry, we're feeling for the characters). Almost any emotion can be released through the tear ducts. Boys, don't be afraid of tears. We cry when we need something and don't know how to get it, or if we feel bad and don't know how to make it better. If you keep that in mind, you have no reason to be afraid of tears.

p.s. I know that if I had a boyfriend and I was upset enough to cry in front of him, I would want him to hug me good and tight, and let me use his shirt to soak up my tears, and tell me that he'll make everything ok. (Assuming, of course, that I wasn't mad at him. That's a whooooole different situation.)

p.p.s I just got a written warning - no ticket this time. (whew)

For All You Gents Out There

2004-03-21T15:55:00.000-05:00

So George and I drove our hot dates to the movies last night. That's right folks, you heard that correctly. While some may argue our lisence-less bros were using their older sisters, George and I prefer to look upon this as quite possibly as good as it will get (for a while at least.... did you notice I just said 'as' three times within six words? Amazing)

George, myself, and Frank and Jo Hardy got pizza, a movie, and Bunch-of-Crunches for 11 bucks a piece and we ladies were treated to all doors open, napkins fetched, and seats saved throughout the night. It was heaven... for the most part.

Then, when it became a race to see who could open the MOST doors... and open the door for the driver of the car who unfortunetly has the only keys to open the door... And who could shut the door for the frontseat lady while sitting in the back of the compact car... Well this was interesting to say the least.

So I could be wrong (but most likely not, hello, this is cowprint here)... Could it be... that gentlemanly behavior can be fun? Seriously. Boys, grab your buddy. Grab your sisters. See who can out-door-open the other. And my challenge to you is this... Make the third variable undertoned sneaky suaveness... So like... we won't know you're going all out in a vehemant macho war when you're grabbing the car keys to unlock the car, and holding race-to-open-the-theatre-door competitions in the middle of the parking lot. :D

Other then that... You've got it covered. Just smile sweetly and say "How much do you want honey?" when we ask for your money. Don't worry - If you can do all of this, we promise to be the most hysterical dates you've ever had. ;) You won't be disapointed.

Mysterious Cookies

2004-03-18T11:05:00.000-05:00

If you have been following recent comments over the last few days, you will have noticed the conversation below regarding 'Japanese Sports Cars.' The most recent comment was posted by a male and read:

"no. Mystery is bad. Just tell us, no beating around the bush, no subtle hints because 9 times out of 10 we won't get them and you'll be left thinking 'what just happened?' Mystery is only good when you are already in a relationship."

I was intrigued by this comment and began to compose a response to it but caught myself getting longwinded and decided to screw the comments and write a stink'n blog about it. After all, I AM the administrator right? Yeah, that's what I thought.

So the mystery business. Lemme 'splain it to ya'll: I wasn't talking about the 'subtle hints' mystery (mostly because those can be awfully revealing), I was talking about the 'hard-to-get' mystery. There's a pretty big difference...

STORY TIME!

So there are two little boys, (let's call them Bert and Ernie). Bert is a spoiled little 5-year-old brat and Ernie is not. (Everybody gets their diapers in a wad sometimes, but for the most part Ernie is a sweet little 5-year-old boy.) One day Bert and Ernie's mommies decide to bake chocolate chip cookies. (To make this story relevant to you I give you permission to change the cookies to your own personal favorite, but if you don't like chocolate chip cookies you must be at the wrong site. Yours would be the 'Aliens from Weirdom' site at No-taste.blogspot.com.) Bert's mom pulls out her 'break and bake'Tollhouse freezer cookies, sticks 'em in the oven, and pulls them out in 8-10 min. Bert promptly demands three of them and Mom hands them over with out complaint because she 'just wants him to be happy and not cry.' Bert stuffs his cookies (if you can really call them that) down and promptly forgets about them as he begins to make some sort of nuisance. Ernie, however, watches his mother lovingly mix all the ingredients of her 'secret' recipe into a bowl, spoon the batter onto cookie sheets, and place them in the oven for 10-12 minutes. Little Ernie smells the warn deliciousness of the cookies and presses his nose against the oven window to watch them rise and see the chips melt. After the timer goes off his mom takes them out (wearing very stylish oven Mitts) and puts them on a tray to cool. He asks politely to have one, but she says he must wait until after dinner because he needs his broccoli before he needs his sugar. He agrees, and when he's fed all his broccoli to his little Beagle puppy (just cuz I think Beagles are SO cute) he enjoys those warm, soft, and oh so sweet cookies like they were a little piece of heaven. (Which they are if they're chocolate chip.) He savors them and remembers them for hours after he's eaten them, even enough to dream that he has moved to a land where all they eat is chocolate chip cookies that night as he sleeps in his little Buzz Lightyear 'jammers. (Isn't he cute?)

The end.

Did you see the comparison? Lemme 'splain again: Bert didn't have any anticipation, excitement, or opportunity to imagine the wonderfulness of his cookies, and as a result he didn't appreciate them or understand their value. While Ernie, who's mouth was watering as he waited patiently for his time to come, enjoyed his mother's cookies and appreciated the time and love that went into them. (He also should have eaten his broccoli because we can make that be character building, or growing up, or something like that. I don't care, you make it up.) That's the kind of 'mystery' I was talking about: Anticipation, excitement, imagination, hopefulness, a little nervousness, and a little uncertainty, but a true and powerful desire. Keeping that kind of mystery alive is a goal worth striving for before AND during a relationship. Those 'mysterious' girls are the home-made kind with lots of time and love and effort baked into them, not those cheap imitation 'break and bake' girls. By the way, those 'break and bakers' will do just that to you: break and bake your heart and leave you wishing you'd taken the time to eat your broccoli and waited until after dinner for the real stuff. Didja ever see the movie House Guest? You need to. Pay special attention to the 'Chicken McNugget' part. (What IS it with this blog and fast food?!)

The REAL end.

5 is my favorite number.

The Sweetest Thing...

2004-03-16T19:41:00.000-05:00

(For those awaiting the super cool blog on CIA crimes verses hoodlum felonies - this is not it. It will come though, I promise.)

The Sweetest Thing... *ahem*

Most people will say your name when first greeting or in final fleeting:

"Why Hellloooo Bertha babe! How are yaa doooing?!"

and

"Catchya on the flipside Helga!"

etc...

But when a person uses your name juxtaposed in the middle of a sentence (having nothing to do with your name other then the fact that they are talking to the owner of it)... Well... this aught to be bottled and sold.

Maybe it's all in my head. Maybe my name-radar is wired tight. Maybe I'm slightly off my rocker (this could be true for other reasons). When a person slips my name into their conversation with me it makes me go

"Oh! That's me! They're talking to ME! Aww... uhuh... yeaaahhh... *melting...I'm meellltiiiing*"

This one little action of inserting the other party's personal name into various parts of what you are saying to them is an amazing thing. It makes it personal. It makes it real. It lets that person know that you know their name and know exactly what you are saying and who you are saying it to. Take note men - especially if you want to drive home your "... So yeah, I've been doing pretty good with all that lately... But Samantha, tell me - how have you been?"

p.s. Please don't over do it though. My melt-factor only goes so far before my psycho-stalker-who-has-an-agenda radar goes off. ;D

Say Huh?

2004-03-15T22:45:00.000-05:00

Guy: "Hey, howya do'n?"

Girl: (deep sigh) "Oh, I'm fine..."

Translation: "I'm feeling cruddy right now and I'd really like to tell you about it, but I want you to ask because I'm afraid of coming off snotty if I just tell you. But I also want you to ask because the attention is oh so nice (although I would never admit it), it kind of proves that you care about me."

Guy: "That's good!"

Girl: (half smile - the patronizing kind with no teeth) "yeah. So how are you?"

Translation: "So glad that I don't have to spell everything out for you... How clueless."

My friend Greg told me today that the hardest thing to understand about girls is why they don't just say what they mean. I can't explain it any other way except - I hate to say - attention. We need it. Really bad. But we don't want to go fishing for it because that looks bad, so all we can do it tell you - scream at you - as indirectly as possible that looking us in the eye and asking 'how are you' and really, truly, caring what our response is, is one of THE (pronounced thee) nicest things in the whole wide world. And it's not just nice to get that from guys, but from anyone. To be completely honest that's probably the best way to judge if the person you're having a conversation with is a real friend or not. (The second best way is to find out if they tell people the things you talk about when they look you in the eye and you think they care about you. Chances are they care about your juicy gossip instead, and how much attention it gets THEM. See? It's all about who's looking at you and for how long. Hmmm, I think that's shallow...)

Side note: I just changed my mind. The best way to tell a real friend from a cheap, off-brand that doesn't last half as long, is if they can keep a secret. And a REALLY good one (the kind that doesn't require much assembly and doesn't run out of batteries after 2 minutes) is one that can tell when to keep their mouth shut without you having to explicitly say "don't tell anyone." (Isn't it annoying when you tell somebody something in confidence and they go blab it other people and when you confront them about it they pull that "but you didn't tell me it was a secret!" junk? Yeah, me too.)

Back to boys: So I guess the bottom line is that we may say things that we don't mean sometimes, but it's almost always to get you to pay more attention to us. We want to know if you care enough to notice our deep sigh and fake smile, or if you're just off in la la land thinking about whatever guys think about. (Which I'm not particularly dying to know, so unless it's impossible not to, please don't tell me.) I do think it's important to note, however, (emphasis on the 'do' by the way, as if I was saying it with an English accent) that sometimes we really don't want to talk about it. For instance, you may notice our heavy sigh, or fake smile and ask if anything's the matter, and we may tell you that it's nothing and that we're fine, and you - being the caring, sensitive male that you are - may persist and be all "no really, you can tell me," but do you really WANT us to tell you that we just ruined our favorite pair of underwear because we found our little monthly surprise? (Yes we do have favorite underwear, but I don't know why we call it a 'pair' when it's only one.) Or that we're ticked off because we feel fat? Or that we're trying to get to the bathroom to fix our bra or pants or pads or tampons or hair or smell or face or personality as fast as we can without anyone stopping us to ask what's wrong? (Bathrooms are aMAYzing places. I tell ya, magical transformations occur in there that you wouldn't dream possible - but more on that later.) No. You don't want to hear us whine about that stuff and we don't want to whine to you, so if we glare at you and say (or yell) "nothing's wrong" - listen. But if we blink and shrug and look at you expectantly (like a puppy wanting a treat) and sigh and say 'nothing's wrong' - put your arm around our shoulders and look us in the eye (if you honestly care) and say "no really, what's up? You can tell me." We'll melt, I promise.

P.S. Sometimes we say things we don't mean because we want you to do what you want to do without our influence. Or we want you to realize what we need and why (attention, a hug, a date, a rose, a ring, whatever) without us having to spell it out for you. When we have to do that it's not fun at all because we feel like we're forcing you and we want you to do it because YOU want to do it, not just because we want it. But this last bit was more for significant others, boy friends, husbands, or any otherwise attached male.

Japanese Sports Cars

2004-03-12T00:30:00.000-05:00

So last Sunday I was talking with my dear friend, Ethan, about cars. (We both enjoy the older models mostly, but that doesn't mean we didn't toss around the names of newer ones like Porche, Hummer, and Mini Cooper.) But soon, as so often happens, the conversation, by some strange twist that I can't quite recall, turned to girls.
"Girls are like Japanese sports cars," Ethan claimed. "They have a ridiculous amount of unneeded features."
Well, while that statement may have startled me, I did start to see the sense in it as I pondered. We - females - do have a lot of totally unnecessary features like: the 'hot boy radar,' the 'heightened chocolate sense of smell,' and the 'leaky eye-ball effect' just to name a few. But contrary to what Ethan may have believed, we also have quite a few features that we simply couldn't live without. The 'shallow 'o meter' for instance, that clues us in when someone is giving into peer pressure to be popular (or something along those lines), the 'danger sensor' that allows us to have a pretty good guess if something will go wrong or not (otherwise known as women's intuition), and - my personal favorite - the blah factor: the ability to talk past all hours of the night about anything and everything under or above the sun running only on one tank of caffeine (premium fuel of course). Now, all this doesn't excuse the fact that we do have several other features that are there simply to keep things from getting dull. You know, the 'roller coaster phenomia' that takes our emotions on twists and turns worse than Raging Bull, highs and lows more intense than the Giant Drop, and all at speeds faster than the Millennium Force. Things like that are purely to keep us interesting, we don't want to be boring.

To some people, a GPS system, a hands free car phone with voice activated dialing, and a TV mounted in their seat is really important. While others may not understand the need for, or enjoyment of such things, they're what makes a fully loaded Hummer H2 a fully loaded Hummer H2. It's not that it's better or worse than a great car without those seemingly ridiculous features, it's simply all in the way you see necessity.

Baby carrots all the way.